 MARCH  ☻  A MONTH ABOUT EMPOWERMENT  ☻

https://www.localoptimist.com/blog/stories/Yh_MVRAAACIA8Nqj

Listen to episode forty-one of The Madhappy Podcast with Madhappy co-founders Mason Spector and Peiman Raf and our podcast producer Phineas Ellis.

Episode 41: Identity and Immigration

We’re available at 310.299.9414 to chat about general anxiety and depression, relationships, stress, communication, self discovery, creativity, grief, and anything else on your mind. We’ve also organized a list of great resources out there to help navigate mental health crises and suicide support. Check out some options for immediate and long term support here.

There are so many ways to get involved in the mental health community. This is our starter guide for joining the movement.

The Local Optimist

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We know. Talking about gratitude this year feels… complicated. However, it’s important to remember that the times when we feel we have nothing to be grateful for are actually the best opportunities to develop gratitude. It’s not about “focusing on the bright side.” It’s about fostering appreciation for yourself, your strength, and your relationships, and then using that to build a more resilient mindset.  

Gratitude is an expression of appreciation, and the reason to do it is because it feels good. That’s backed by research. Psychology studies show that expressing gratitude yields important social and personal benefits. 

Still, fostering gratitude might feel like a tough feat right now. That’s okay. We all differ in the degree to which we experience and express gratitude. But the more we understand the concept, the better we can cultivate a practice of gratitude. Let’s jump in.

Both! And more! Gratitude is an emotion that makes you feel happier. It is also a feeling that is part of a mood and personality trait. By making a concerted effort to practice gratitude, it can become a habit that works its way into our everyday routines. 

Why should I do this in a year like this one?

It definitely isn’t easy, but if you do, it can help you reframe how your experience of this year. 

Gratitude helps widen our perspective and look at things broadly. By practicing a grateful perspective, you can feel an increased sense of positivity and well-being. It can also improve your confidence and relationships with others. 

It’s especially important in 2020 because when life is so uncertain, a gratitude practice can ground and stabilize us. It also builds resilience to emotional setbacks and negative experiences. 

Studies show that over time gratitude can boost happiness; foster physical and psychological health, particularly for those with mental health challenges; and increase emotional intelligence.

On an even more granular level, people who practice gratitude may experience: 

Less stress, aka lower cortisol (the stress hormone)

Better academic and professional performance

Another very important, though not often discussed, benefit is gratitude’s symbiotic nature. Gratitude is unique because it benefits you and the recipient equally. 

So much of mental health is about caring for ourselves in order to serve others. Gratitude does double duty in real time. We feel better as we express our gratitude to our loved ones, and they do as well. This results in tighter bonds, and more meaningful and lasting relationships, which is especially important in a time where so many of us are experiencing overwhelming feelings of loneliness and isolation. 

You can start right here. All month, The Local Optimist will be focusing its stories on gratitude. We’ll get into everything from how mindfulness fosters greater gratitude to Gratitude 1-2-3 to practical tools and techniques. We’re also going to be talking to some great people and sharing stories on other aspects of life that tie into our gratitude and, as always, our mental health. 

We want to hear your stories, too. Share your journey and keep the conversation going by commenting on this story below. You can also connect with us about whatever’s on your mind by texting The Local Optimist Hotline at 310.299.9414.

We’ve also put together a list of other resources that can help with your gratitude practice:

Three Positive Psychology Practices For Troubled Times

Practicing Gratitude Is More Important Now Than Ever

This month’s theme at The Local Optimist is Gratitude. So get to know what it means, how it’s good for us, and how you can practice it, even now.

WORD OF THE MONTH: GRATITUDE

Practicing gratitude is something we hear about a lot in the wellness world, especially around this time of year as Thanksgiving approaches. It’s a popular topic for good reason – research shows that when we express gratitude, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters that make us feel good. Other studies have shown that practicing gratitude regularly has the power to heal, energize, and transform our lives by enhancing us psychologically, spiritually, physically, and cognitively. 

So how exactly does one go about practicing gratitude? It takes more than saying thank you (though that never hurts), and there are many different ways to approach it. To help you find a routine that works for you, we’ve put together a list of different ways you can practice gratitude, below. 

Practicing gratitude in the morning can help start your day on a happier note while also reducing depression and anxiety. An easy way to do this is by keeping a gratitude journal. When we write our feelings down vs. speaking them out loud, the memory of what we’ve written lasts longer.  Studies have also shown that writing our feelings can reduce anxiety over time. With a morning gratitude journal, the key is to let your thoughts flow. You will be surprised by the chain reaction of how thinking of one thing you’re grateful for can lead to another.  

To help you get those ideas flowing, use these prompts. Write about:

Anything else you feel grateful you have in the present moment

Bonus: On days when you’re not feeling your best, return to your gratitude journal to remind yourself of all the great things in your life. 

A recent study showed that expressing gratitude affects not only yourself but anyone who witnesses or receives it. Every day, try to think about someone you are grateful for, whether it is a friend you talk to frequently, a teacher you had many years ago, or an old boss. Sending someone a text, an email, or, better yet, a letter in the mail explaining something you appreciate about them can be a great way to practice gratitude while also making someone else feel good about themselves. 

It can be something as simple as, “Thank you for believing in me. I am grateful to know someone like you,” or more detailed, like “I saw you raised money for [X], that is so incredible, and I am grateful there are people like you in the world.” 

Express Gratitude Through Acts Of Kindness:

Giving to others also produces feelings of gratitude. In one study, the pioneering happiness researcher Barbara Fredrickson found that “when you express your gratitude in words or actions, you not only boost your own positivity but [other people’s] as well, and in the process, you reinforce their kindness and strengthen your bond to one another.” Another study has shown that people can become happier overtime after they start volunteer and service work.

Try expressing gratitude through acts of kindness at least once a day.  Buy coffee for a friend (or a stranger!), offer to go grocery shopping for your grandma, engage in active listening when your sibling is talking about their day, or volunteer at your community’s local food bank.

It often feels more natural to thank others instead of thanking ourselves, but studies show that taking a moment to express self-compassion can lead to greater resilience, increased productivity, and decreased stress.  Writing yourself a “thank-me-card” gives you the opportunity to remind yourself of your strengths and can help to ward off negative self-talk in the process. 

Have fun with your thank-me-card! Write about something you’ve done that you are proud of, a personal character trait/quality that you admire, a risk you took, a positive change you made, an obstacle you overcame, or a creative idea you had that paid off. If this feels unnatural for you, try imagining that you are writing it as a compassionate friend of yours. 

When it comes to forming new habits, there is power to accountability. Develop a routine with a friend of texting each other one thing you are grateful for each day to keep you both inspired. Research shows that if you start a new habit while someone is holding you accountable, there is a 95% probability of completing your goal compared to when you do it alone, which has only a 65% probability of success.   Having this dialogue with another person regularly can also help you form a closer bond. 

Keep the conversation going by commenting on this story below. You can also connect with us about whatever’s on your mind by texting The Local Optimist Hotline at 310.299.9414 and subscribing to our bi-monthly newsletter here.

We’ve put together a list of different ways you can practice gratitude to help you find a routine that works for you.

5 Fresh Ways to Practice Gratitude

First of all, if you’re not feeling very grateful right now - that’s okay.

Just remember that feeling doesn’t have to be permanent. Our brains are conditioned to follow patterns. So even if we aren’t currently in the habit of practicing gratitude, we can, through practice, train our minds to be grateful. The more you practice, the more your brain will recognize the benefits that come from positive emotions and reduced anxiety. 

Few gratitude practices are more impactful than being present. When we talk about being present, what we mean is being aware of the current moment. This is also referred to as mindfulness, and it is helpful because it allows us to calmly acknowledge our thoughts, feelings, and circumstances without judgement. 

An important part of being present involves being attuned to the emotional side of gratitude. Envy, cynicism, and narcissism are thieves of gratitude. When you experience these emotions, first acknowledge them (our How Are You Feeling series can help). Then challenge those feelings by identifying something you are grateful for to counter the negative emotion. 

Over time, your brain gets used to this approach, and gratitude becomes your default state.

Mindfulness, which is another way to describe being present, is the answer to a lot of mental health questions for good reason. Mindfulness has countless positive benefits. That’s especially true when it comes to fostering gratitude.

There are a few specific mindfulness practices that can really help with gratitude:

Savoring
Savoring is sometimes referred to as “the lesser-known cousin of mindfulness.” Savoring involves consciously redirecting your attention to whatever brings you positive feelings. A simple, COVID-friendly way to practice this is with a Savoring Walk. Take a 20-minute walk around the block with the intention to notice as many things as you can. Rather than listening to a podcast or getting lost in your thoughts, try to notice the sights, smells, and sounds that pull you in. Take time to identify the things that bring you joy and then savor them. This results in By training the mind to find the positive, the brain gradually becomes rewired to better handle stress. 


Mental Subtraction
Mental subtraction is a thought experiment where you pinpoint one event in your life and play the “What if” game. Pick a positive event in your life and think about how your life would be if that event never occurred. You can also try the same thing with a seemingly negative event that ended up having a positive effect. Doing so, helps the mind find gratitude in situations that it may have previously viewed as traumas. This means that in the future, your brain can deal with present circumstances with awareness and flexibility. 


Noticing Comparisons
As we mentioned, envy is a thief of gratitude. That’s why it’s important to be mindful of comparisons you make, particularly on social media. If you measure yourself against someone’s best moment of their day, it isn’t apples-to-apples. That comparison is unfair to your journey because it omits important context. Check yourself when this happens and think more holistically about what you’re comparing in order to begin developing a healthier self-narrative and a greater sense of gratitude for your own journey. (And if that leads to unfollowing an account, so be it.)

Remember, if you’re new to this, simply staying present is enough. There is no “wrong” way to tap into mindfulness. If you find yourself in a calm and present state reading, painting your nails, listening to music, or going on a walk, that counts. The gratitude will come. 

To learn more about being present to foster gratitude, check out some of these resources:

Practicing Gratitude Is More Important Now Than Ever (Psychology Today)

The Compelling Science of Gratitude Lists (Headspace)

Three Positive Psychology Practices For Troubled Times (Psychology Today)

Keep the conversation going by commenting on this story below. You can also connect with us about whatever’s on your mind by texting The Local Optimist Hotline at 310.299.9414.

Feeling gratitude isn’t always easy, but these three mindfulness practices can help.

3 Ways To Be Present To Foster Gratitude

What does it mean to express gratitude?  

Typically, we look at gratefulness and gratitude through a lens of grandeur; we are grateful for people who have saved us, the people we love, good health, the sun for rising and setting each day, and so on. I’m not arguing that we shouldn’t be thankful for these large-scale phenomena or important relationships, but what if we thanked the little things each day? How would this improve our lives? 

Gratitude’s definition varies. It is curiosity. It is appreciation. It is looking at the bright side of a fallback. It is fathoming abundance. It is thanking someone or something in your life. It is texts that read “this made me think of you.” It is the ease of friendship. It is recognition of support. It is song lyrics that read your mind. It is not taking things for granted. It is coping. It is in the now.  Gratitude is a reversal to negative feelings, a neutralizer of jealousy, hostility, anxiety, insecurity, and intolerance.

"Studies show that expressing gratitude at smaller scales and more frequently helps us orient our thinking towards a more optimistic direction."

Not only this, but giving thanks and expressing gratitude out loud improves our general positive emotion. Rather than feeling we need to reserve our gratitude in order to give each thanks importance, we can alter the way in which we give thanks in order to help us recognize all the good in our lives. We don’t need to express gratitude for things that necessarily did anything spectacular, but things that never forgot what they could do. 

Expressing gratitude helps us focus on the present moment. I re-fell in love with an old song in the car this morning. While this is not a revolutionary thought, it helps me orient my mindset to a positive outcome rather than focusing it on the traffic I sat through on the way to work.  On a larger scale, expressing gratitude forces us to look for the good. I am an incredibly self-reliant person. This thought allows me to appreciate the resiliency and struggle I went through in achieving this. 

So how can we practice gratefulness? Here are some practical tools that can help us build expressing gratefulness into our daily lives: 

Say it out loud. By saying things out loud, we add weight to them. Often we are too hesitant to express the positives, to give compliments, to give and receive thanks. When we say things out loud, we build a habit of appreciating the things around us, and sharing those things with others. I was first introduced to expressing gratefulness on the phone with my mom. In a state of stress, she told me to slow down and tell her three positive things that happened to me that day. They didn’t have to be relevant to the stress I was experiencing, just three good things. She went first. She told she bought a new salt shaker that she loved.  I had never understood gratefulness in the form of something so small. I responded by saying I was a good friend to someone who isn’t always a good friend back, and that I had great Korean fried chicken for dinner. When I said it out loud, I found myself smiling. Whether it was validation, pride, or simply just something enjoyable, I felt that my feelings, especially my positive feelings, were given weight. They were given a place. 



Write it down. By writing our thoughts and thanks down we hold our feelings to a specific time and place; our positivity becomes proof. Journaling is also a proven skill to help slow down, unwind, and destress. When we write our thanks, we are able to retrace and remember it. I keep a regular journal. I was reading through an entry from January recently that read “I’ve smiled at grey skies and I’ve smiled wider at blue ones.” The irony in this is that I was going through a personal rough patch at the time I wrote this. I chose to write down what I was grateful for. How we remember things is our choice. 



Turn your negatives into positives. This may sound cliché, but look for the silver lining. A change in our expectations leaves room for new beginnings. Our setbacks are not failures. Each struggle leaves us with a new lesson, a new insight, or a new skill. While things like heartbreak, loss, anxiety, stress, exhaustion and so much more have seemed like the end-all-be-all at times, they have shaped me into who I am today and they will continue to influence who I become in the future. 



Slow down. Gratefulness is a present practice. Be aware that a common misconception is that we need to be appreciative for the major things in our life. This is not true. We can be grateful for a simple night in with friends or a great nap. Today I am grateful for a good square of chocolate after lunch. The point is that the little things count, sometimes for more. 



It is ok to compliment yourself. Often, we are told to feel guilty for the good things we are given in life or for the good traits we possess. It is ok to get lucky, it is ok for your hard work to pay off. We are allowed to pat ourselves on the back from time to time. We live in a world that is constantly telling us to second guess, to feel guilty, to feel insecure. I felt really care-free today or I have a contagious laughter. We are allowed to express appreciation for things that didn’t necessarily happen to us, or for us, but by us.



Don’t take yourself too seriously. Breathe. Smile. There is no right or wrong way to practice gratefulness, so give thanks if it feels good, don’t force thanks if it doesn’t.

Expressing gratitude is a metastrategy to regulating happiness. It is not a secret that it is easier to recognize and dwell on the bad. That is ok as long as we use gratefulness as an antidote for the negative. I found gratefulness at a time when I least expected to- at a time where it was easier to hate someone than to forgive them. I chose a path of forgiveness because it felt better to take the lessons I have learned and the memories I have and leave the way things ended in the past. It was hard; hard to accept, hard to move on, hard to stop blaming myself for something so completely out of my control. I am appreciative for the things in my life that did not go as planned. For the things and for the people who have hurt me. They built character, they made me stronger, they taught me what it looks like to choose myself. Every decision I have ever made, whether it was good or bad (or, at times I will admit, terrible), has led me to where I am now, which is exactly where I need to be in this moment. Similar to Madhappy, gratitude allows us to feel the bad so we can recognize the good; it lets us pucker at the sour so our mouths can water at the sweet.  We would not be able to express gratitude for the sunshine if we never got caught in the rain. 

What does it mean to express gratitude? What if we thanked the little things each day? How would this improve our lives?

Little Things

We know right now, while our global reality has shifted so drastically, It seems like an odd time to look around and be grateful. But, that’s exactly when practicing gratitude is most helpful.

Gratitude

We know right now, while our global reality has shifted so drastically, it seems like an odd time to look around and be grateful. But, that’s exactly when practicing gratitude is most helpful. We can feel so alone and overwhelmed, and when we are constantly bombarded with updates every hour, we often get caught up in the moment and lose sight of things and people we do have around us. No matter what is going on right now, if you give yourself a couple minutes a day to turn in and appreciate what you do have, the benefits can drastically shift our perception of this time, and make each day a little easier. 

Gratitude is appreciation and thankfulness we have for qualities, people, and experiences in our lives. It can be a trait we carry with us, as much as a temporary feeling or experience. 

Right now, it may feel more challenging to practice gratitude which makes it the perfect time to keep trying; especially considering all the wonderful benefits we receive from doing so. 

Increased physical health (like improved sleep)

Increased psychological health, including mental health challenges (like improved self esteem)

Shifts attention away from negative emotions and experiences

Minimizing rumination (a hallmark of depression) 

Lasting changes in prefrontal cortex that heighten sensitivity to future experiences of gratitude

DETAILS

2 ideas you have, big picture or something you've noticed about yourself, anything!

Something you’re letting go of starting today

3. Think about people who have inspired you - then tell them about it! 

4. Think about a hard situation and the strength you were given by overcoming it 

6. Practice saying thank you in an authentic and meaningful way

7. Daily reminders like pausing before meals to thank everyone from the farmer to the person who prepared it or while showering to acknowledge your privilege for clean water and soap

8. Donate old clothes or items that no longer have use for you. As Marie Kondo would say, thank them for serving their purpose to you, and kindly give that gift to someone else by donating. 

HOMEWORK

Benefits of Gratitude - Positive Psychology 

25 Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude - Chopra Center

CITE YOUR SOURCES

When you think of places that might inspire a gratitude practice, a real estate seminar probably doesn’t jump to the top of the list. But inspiration strikes in unique ways. For Daisy Dolan, who works for a real estate technology startup, it came during a discussion about—wait for it—Ninja Selling and how writing thank-you notes to former clients is a great networking tool that can help agents grow their business. 

When Dolan heard this, it struck a chord, albeit one that was completely unrelated to work. She had done a good deal of self-development work, reading books and listening to podcasts on the topic, and was no stranger to the concepts of gratitude and journaling as a way of acknowledging the things one is grateful for. The real estate seminar helped Dolan realize that there was a way that she could enjoy the benefits of gratitude journaling while also “putting that force into my community.”

For the past 15 months, Dolan has sent two postcards a day to people that describe why she is grateful for them. Sometimes the recipients are near and dear, sometimes they’re people she barely knows. Sometimes she writes a couple sentences, sometimes it’s longer. The key is consistency. And like any practice, it’s improved over time. The courage to ask for someone’s address is more easily summoned; the awkward feelings of writing someone you don’t know well are more easily overcome.

We spoke with Dolan about how she started her practice, her go-to source for quality postcards, and the one postcard she hasn’t written yet.

This interview has been condensed and lightly edited for clarity.

Where did the idea for these gratitude postcards come from?

I think that we choose what we see. We choose our lens for the day, and we choose our lens for our life. The thing that I kept coming back to was gratitude. Gratitude for me is a very neutral practice. Gratitude isn't about projecting something into the future. It is about acknowledging what you have right now and letting yourself feel how much that means. My mind moves really quickly, and of all the practices I had heard about, gratitude was more grounding because it forced me to look at what is here and now and tangible that I can be grateful for immediately.  I also think that so much of the conversation around mental health is about being the change you want to see in the world. I wanted to find a way to incorporate the gratitude practices of acknowledging what I was grateful for while also putting that force into my community. So, those became my postcards.

Had you heard of anybody else doing something like this, or was this all your own idea?

I work at a real estate tech company. There was one seminar that we hosted for our real estate agents where they talked about writing client appreciation letters. I kind of co-opted that. I love postcards. Museum gift shops are my favorite place on the planet. Growing up, my mom wrote us letters for absolutely everything. The three main things that I was trying to accomplish with this practice were first, putting on your lens for the world. As soon as I started doing this, I would run around all day thinking, "Who am I grateful for?” I look for people that I am grateful for, and I look for reasons why I am grateful for them because I know that I need to tell two people a day explicitly why. Second, I think it is a really important skill to practice telling people why we are grateful for them. The first few postcards I wrote were really awkward. It is a skill that you have to practice. Then the third piece, and probably the most important, is it just makes the people in your life feel so good. Yes, sometimes I worry that I will creep people out, but for the most part, they are so well received.  When you check your mail once every two months, and you have a bunch of bills and then a cheeky postcard with someone telling you all of the things they are grateful for about you, it makes your day. I have friends that have them on their fridges or their desks.  Now people will write them back to me! It creates this cipher of gratitude in your life that grows and grows. 

At some of my favorite museums—the Pérez in Miami, the Whitney in NYC, Saatchi in London—I'll buy like 50. I'll go to gas stations, airports, wherever I see postcards. Restaurant postcards, I just mine those. I like having a piece of art that represents a person or the message that I am giving. 

I imagine that there is a certain amount of bravery involved in sending a postcard to someone who is totally not expecting a postcard from you. 

The work ones were pretty challenging. I wrote to some people on different teams. Some of them were never acknowledged, which was kind of like, "Oh, no! They think I am completely strange." I’ve also started talking about it on my Instagram so that people are not completely taken off-guard.  My boyfriend has still never gotten one because I started this process around when we first got involved.  I brought it up a few months ago, and he said, "Yeah, it kind of would freak me out if you're in my house, and writing me postcards." Then we talked about it again a couple of days ago, and he said, "At this point, I get it, it's been long enough. Write to me about whatever you want, this is your thing." It is so strange how sometimes the people we are closest to are sometimes the people that are the most challenging for us to articulate that to. 

Yes, it is. That is the other thing that Covid made incredibly challenging because everyone moved. I remember I had a stack of 25 postcards that were written but never addressed because I was waiting to hear where these people were going to be. I have actually used getting people's addresses as a way to break the ice before I send them a postcard.  I made a rule with myself that there are about ten people that I can't choose more than once a week. You have to find new people. There is a girl I went to high school with that quit her job and got her Master’s in nutrition. She has Hashimoto’s and started a blog and Instagram about mental health plus nutrition plus Hashimoto’s. I am not particularly close with her. I certainly did not have her address.  But I asked for her address, and I sent her this note card saying, "This is so brave of you. I am so grateful that there are people like you in the world." And that changed our relationship. It was really challenging for me to get to that level 2 and level 3 of people to write to, but it has also transformed a lot of relationships in my life. 

What are some of the other benefits that you have seen from this practice? 

It has really forced me to pay attention to what I am grateful for about people. Now that people know that I write two a day, I never want them to feel like they are the throwaway card.  The ones that had the biggest impact were the ones that were really specific. You can make someone really feel seen and acknowledged. 

I love a good whiteboard, or I have a notepad somewhere, where I keep a list of people. I have a box of postcards, it is a Jo Malone box. Sometimes I will pick postcards ahead of time. When I am picking the postcards, I think about who is going to get what. The more generic ones go to the people who I don't know as well. The really spooky arty ones are for your fifth postcard from me. If I fall off for a week, it can be much harder jumping back into it. But once you are back into the flow and waking up and doing it every morning, whether it is meditating or Peloton or whatever, it is muscle memory.  Consistency has made it much easier for me to make it a ritual. I do make sure I do it before I dive into the day. It should be as close as possible to the absolute first thing that I do.

Because people check their mail so rarely, is there a little bit of anxiety when you send one and then you're waiting to hear back?

I do not do this to get a response. If it was two a week, then yes, I would think, "Oh my gosh, when is this person going to write back? Did they get it?"  But, because it is two a day, there are so many going out there. I hear from some people and don't hear from other people. 

Have you heard of other people being inspired by and adopting this practice for themselves?

I have a couple of friends who have started their own individual postcarding practices. I think getting that type of acknowledgment [from receiving a postcard] inspires you to want to put that back out into the world however you can.

What does the future look like for this postcard practice?

To me, there is something about the written word, and there is something about getting a physical piece of collateral that you can keep that was a moment in time. That means so much to me.  I have not really thought about this as a project. I think about it more as a routine or a habit. The plan is to keep going.

When you look back, what are you most grateful for this year?

I think I am most grateful for the focus and pause we have all been given. No matter how Covid or the events around the election or the Black Lives Matter movement or any form of racial injustice has affected you personally, everyone is thinking more deeply about who they want to be in this world and how they want to show up for their communities. We are paying closer attention to one another as people. When we catch up with our friends and say, "How are you?" it is really about what is going on inside, because no one is allowed outside. I am grateful for that because I think that a shift in perspective will create more long-term and meaningful relationships. I actually have a podcast launching in a few weeks about this called This End Up. We are looking at how the events of this year have impacted different industries and how entrepreneurs and big companies have shifted their perspectives on the world.

Daisy Dolan starts each day by writing two postcards to people explaining why she is grateful for them.

Daisy Dolan: Putting Her Stamp on Gratitude

This past May, to celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month, we launched a digital campaign that featured a series of daily questions answered on Instagram by friends of the brand. We were so thrilled by the outpouring of responses and conversations we were able to generate. In fact, we reached more than 100 million impressions. 

This campaign allowed us to show how mental health challenges and successes know no boundaries. All of our friends, no matter their age, location, race, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, etc had a story. We thank each and every one of you who shared a piece of that story with us. By doing so, we were able to contribute to the larger mission of destigmatization and help each other feel less alone. 

At Madhappy, we are on a continuous mission to make the world a more optimistic place by creating conversation around mental health. We want to foster these conversations in our stories, posts, feeds, and clothing. We believe that the work to destigmatize mental illness starts with opening the door for people to feel permission to express their true emotions, beliefs, behaviors, struggles, and successes. We will always be a place for these conversations, online and offline. 

This post is a recap of each Mental Health Daily question and answers from our friends from around the world. Learn more about other's experience with mental health to see how truly united we all are with our mental health journeys. You may even gain some new coping strategy ideas from our friends!

"How Do You Talk To Your Friends About Mental Health?"

Dr Deepika Chopra tries to talk to her friends about mental health from a place of nonjudgemental, with empathy, and with transparency. 

Our good friend Gaby Ulloa acknowledges that no two people look at a situation the exact same way so she likes to use "I" statements, rather than "we" statements. That individualizes people's experiences and acknowledges that we all have different experiences. She also tries to be there for her friends to feel seen, heard, and loved unconditionally. She also doesn't give advice. 

Blondish says all her friends talk about is how they give themselves self love. They approach it by trying to figure out how to move out of their heads and into their heart space. They talk about their morning rituals a lot! 

Meadow lets her friends know that she is someone her friends can come to. She tries to create that space for her friends, show them that she is always here to talk about mental health. Not to give advice, but to hold space and listen. 

Mason says it depends on the friend but it starts with meeting them with they are. Knowing his friends level, how deep they want to go, etc has a lot to do with how they approach the conversation. 

"What Are Some Habits You Put In Place To Work On Your Mental Health?"

Our friend Max Feldstein said his mental health closely correlates to his work stress and anxiety. He takes things to pen and paper to help him stay organized and work positively through the week, which really helps with his mental health. He notes that you can use this for work or your personal life, and that by writing out his goals and what he's trying to accomplish it helps clear that space for your mind to process.

Mason says the biggest one for him is routine and habit. Going to therapy, going to meetings, expressing himself with loved ones and people he trusts, listening to music, getting outside, watching movies, and journaling. It's different for everyone but those are some of his.

For Meadow, it's setting healthy boundaries. Those did not come naturally for her and learning to listen to her limits and boundaries, and being more accepting of when she needs breaks or has hit her threshold is huge. Other weekly habits that help her are: talking it out with loved ones, reading for inspiration, doing deep breathing exercises, and setting time limits on digital platforms.

"What Is The Most Powerful Part Of Therapy For You?"

For Mason, it's really been the progress and been able to look back and see how much he has grown, evolved, and changed. It takes a lot of time but there are examples of perspectives or mindsets that have drastically evolved. It shows how powerful our minds are and shows if we really do the work, we can flip our mind 180 degrees. 

For Meadow, it's been the uninterrupted time and space to dedicate to her self growth. She feels that while it's easy for her to talk about these subjects philosophically or conversationally, it's different to sit there and think actively about how they affect, influence, or apply to yourself. Creating dedicated space to active self growth and working with a professional on that has been monumental. 

"What Was Your First Therapy Session Like?"

Mason's mom put him and all his siblings into therapy when he was 7 years old. So while he doesn't remember it well, he's so thankful he had that experience from a young age because it became normalized for him and gave him tools to talk about how he was feeling. Whether you just started therapy or thinking about it, he highly recommends it. Finding the right person and getting started is the hardest part, but then you can get a flow or routine that becomes second nature. 

Meadow's first session was when she was 17 years old. She remembers just being excited to have a space to talk to someone about the things she was going through from her perspective and be there for her role in it all. She truly believes therapy is a powerful tool and way to hold a mirror to our behaviors or patterns that we may be look at everyday without truly seeing. 

"How Do You Use Social Media In A Way That Supports Your Mental Health Instead Of Hurting It?"

Mark over at Lucali Pizza said first and foremost, he uses in smaller doses yet with COVID that has pretty much been impossible. He uses it to stay in touch with friends and family, customers, and fellow restauranteurs. 

Orion Carloto has three things. One, limiting her time on it. Two, no more lurking or looking for things she doesn't need to know the answer to. Three, posting about things and following accounts that inspire her, instead of using social media to talk about things that she dislikes. 

Mason says he is still learning how to do this because social media has been bad for his mental health in the past. For him, it's all about balance and checking in with himself about how he is thinking or feeling. A big positive he's taken away is keeping up or checking in with friends and loved ones. 

"Who Is The First Person You Reach Out To When You Are Struggling Emotionally?"

For Mason, it depends on what he is struggling with. If it's something from childhood, he'll go his mom. If it's something about addiction or being sober, he'll go to someone in the program. If it's something about day to day, he'll go to his roommate. He notes that more importantly than who you are sharing with, it's that you are sharing in general. 

Meadow feels similarly to Mason in that it may depend on the subject. Most of the time, it's either her boyfriend, mom, or best friend Becky, since those are three people she feels unconditional support and love from, who will always hold space for her. 

"How Do You Speak With A Friend That Needs Help?"

Kevin Mjr notes that he is open in his friendships and that they usually create space to talk about what's going on. He makes a point to give friends space to ask them how they are doing and try to get them to speak up. It's about really giving your friend the opportunity to feel seen and heard, by just listening and being by their side. 

For Vivian Benitez, she's realized that listening is more important than having the answers. She notices that she so badly wants to fix the situation but now understands that the best thing you can do for them is be there to listen, not have the answer.

Mason says being open, listening, and holding space are important reminders; not giving advice or telling them what you think they should do, but relating back to them. Saying things like, "when you said xyz, it reminded me of this time I went through abc, and this is what helped me during that time..."

"What Have You Learned About Mental Health During This Crisis That You’ll Take With You When It’s Over?"

Our friend Jilly Hendrix said that people think you should be available all the time now that we are home, but that's not the case! You don't need to respond immediately, answer every phone call, attend every Zoom party, etc. We need to be most honest with our emotions and communicate that rather than make excuses to appease the person whose invitation we are declining. 

Janel Parrish has learned that while we may not have control over anything, we do have control over the way we respond to it. We are stronger than we think we are and we can change our stories. She will be taking that with her.

For Alexia Umansky, it's do what it is that makes you happy. If you want to say no, say it. You don't have to do anything to impress other people. If you want to say yes, say yes. 

Mason has been pleasantly reminded of how much he needs connection and community, and to be around other people. He said he is even talking to family and friends more. He's going to take connection and how important it is and how much it effects his mental health with him.

"What's Helping You Stay Connected During This Current Crisis?"

Our good friend Jesse Israel stays connected by disconnecting from his phone. He makes time every day and night to put the phone on airplane mode and do something analog, like listening to his transistor radio. 

Jackie Cantwell likes to use breathing practices to stay connected during this time. When she feels anxious, sad, or scared she knows she can use her breath to get connected back with herself and who she really is. One of her favorite breathing practices is the box breath: inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four. You can do this for 1 minute to 5 minutes. 

For our friend Murray Hidary, staying connected is all about the bigger picture and not getting caught up in the weeds or details. The bigger picture is realizing that this is one chapter in a broader story. To be reminded of this, he creates. For him, it's through music. Find your way to create!

Our friends over at Jon & Vinny's had some great insight. Vinny said that work is keeping them connected. He gets to see a lot of familiar faces and the people he loves working with. He's finding the silver lining in still having some businesses still standing. He also enjoys the challenge of trying to find new ways to succeed. For Jon, being able to go out and work is keeping him connected as well. He's going into the restaurants every day and making food to feed their community.

Mason is staying connected with technology and the internet. Usually he tries to limit his screen time but in this crisis, he has been using it a lot more to stay connected with friends and family all around the world.

Aside from being on Instagram, Keaton Milburn is staying connected by making sure her mental health and her loved one's are as well - facetiming friends she hasn't heard from in a while to make sure they're staying happy and healthy. 

"What's Helping You Stay Calm During This Current Crisis?"

Samira Ibrahim is staying calm by taking regular breaks throughout the work day, taking deep breaths, and listening to some vibey music to zone out. 

For Yris Palmer, faith and family keep her calm. Being surrounded by her daughter and the ones that she loves and knowing that they are healthy is keeping her calm.

Sophie Mudd has been going on walks, doing home work outs, facetiming friends and family, learning to meditate, and taking up painting. 

For Alexis Ren, routine is keeping her calm. She feels like this crisis has reminded us that we do only have the present moment and we have everything we need in that. Reminding herself and staying super close to her family has been keeping her calm.

Mason is staying calm in ways he knows how: family, friends, food, nature, and movies. 

Each day of May, we'll be posing questions to our community and friends of the brand to generate conversation around mental health.

Madhappy Presents: Mental Health Daily

I first met Megan Williams in 2010 while working on a modeling job together in London. Ten years later, she has become one of my closest friends. From a small island in the UK called Guernsey to New York City, Williams has traveled all over the world for the past 12 years. From walking Victoria’s Secret (three times), starring in Guess campaigns alongside Gigi Hadid, and being featured in Sports Illustrated, she has accumulated an impressive resume. 

Being catapulted into the adult working world at the age of 14 gave Williams a broad view from an early age. Learning how to deal with her mental health and how to care for herself in an industry that only focuses on what’s on the outside has been an ongoing process. And it’s become an important part of her day-to-day life. I’ve always been impressed with her outlook on life and her openness to discussing her mental health. That’s why I thought she was a great person to speak to for Inner Piece.  

Not only does Williams maintain a successful modeling career, she also co-founded a reusable sustainable cup brand called HUNU, which is now available on Amazon. Sustainability has always been an important thing to Williams, and HUNU allowed her to create a product she actually cares about with a good cause behind it. 

Mental health plays a big part in our friendship and is a common theme in our daily conversations so I’m happy to bring her to Inner Piece to share some of her wisdom with others. 

What do you want people to know about you?

I was born in England, and home for me is a small island off the coast of the UK between England and France called Guernsey. Work brought me to New York City around seven years ago and has been home since. Family and friends give me so much joy in life as well as anything outdoors especially by the sea. If I can combine both even better! 

What have you learned about yourself during these strange times? How has it impacted your mental health? 

I have learned that my fast-paced life was working as a great distraction from how I was feeling a lot of the time. I’m used to traveling a lot and always being ready to get up and go at any minute depending on work. Like all of us, I had to put a full stop to all of that. So I had a lot more time to really sit with how I was feeling. I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety on a daily basis in this time. Not only because everything is so uncertain, but because there were a lot of things I had not taken the time to deal with from my past. For me, the silver lining of this period is the time it has given me to look inwards.

What is one of life’s smallest but greatest pleasures for you?

Something as simple as a coffee with a friend. Time spent really connecting with people is my greatest pleasure in life.

What are you most grateful for this year? 

I am grateful for my boyfriend. There was a lot of uncertainty this year about where we should be in the world, whether we should go home to family, and what our lives were going to look like. But one certainty was that we knew we were making the choices together. I am so grateful for that, and it gives me a feeling of security.

Can you remember a time when someone showed you gratitude? 

I think me and my friends show gratitude to each other all the time for things as simple as truly listening to each other. My closest few girlfriends are dotted all over the world, but they always know when they need someone to talk to that they can pick up the phone, and I will listen and not judge. And vice-versa. There’s a gratitude that is felt and doesn’t even need to be shown in big ways.

When did you first become aware that mental health was something that you needed to pay more attention to? 

I took more notice of it a few years ago when I was in a bad relationship that I had every capacity to change myself but couldn’t seem to get myself out of. That's when I realized we all have our own mental health journey and patterns that we need to recognize and learn about ourselves. 

Who do you turn to when you need to talk about issues related to mental health? 

Your very own Inner Piece creator, Sadie. We have known each other since we were 16 and both have very similar backgrounds so I think she is a person who just gets it. We have been there for each other in a lot of big life changes, and we have grown to be so comfortable around each other that no thought too big or too small feels awkward to talk about. She’s an amazing listener with a big heart and I think we have grown closer by both being vulnerable about our own mental health battles.

How do you know when you are in a good place with your mental health? Are there specific things that you do to help you reach that place?

At the beginning of this year when a slightly uncomfortable situation would arise I could quickly spiral into a place where I felt anxious and unable to deal with the situation at hand. I now don’t feel like that, I feel able to calmly deal with even a challenging situation. A big change that helped me was noticing what made me feel good and what didn’t. For example, I noticed that going on my phone first thing in the morning was negatively affecting me, so I put structure in place for a morning routine: movement, meditation, and journaling before I start my day.

What is something that you wish you’d known sooner about mental health?

The famed model connects with Inner Piece’s Sadie Newman for an honest conversation about mental health during unprecedented times.

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